Two Monks and a Woman

 


[–]crankenfurterphilosophical enthusiast 11 points  

Nan-in, a Japanese master during the Meiji era (1868-1912), received a university professor who came to inquire about Zen.

Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor’s cup full, and then kept on pouring.

The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. “It is overfull. No more will go in!”

“Like this cup,” Nan-in said, “you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?”

[–]Ariyas108seon 11 points  

Always liked this one. :)

Two Monks and a Woman

A senior monk and a junior monk were traveling together. At one point, they came to a river with a strong current. As the monks were preparing to cross the river, they saw a very young and beautiful woman also attempting to cross. The young woman was unable to cross by herself and asked the monks if they could help her.

The senior monk picked the woman up and put her on his shoulder, crossed the river and let her down on the other bank. The junior monk was very upset, but said nothing.

They both were walking and senior monk noticed that his junior was suddenly silent and enquired “Is something the matter, you seem very upset?”

The junior monk replied, “As monks, we are not permitted to touch a woman, how could you then carry that woman on your shoulders! You have broken your precepts!”

The senior monk replied, “I left the woman a long time ago at the bank of the river. Why are you still carrying her?”

[–]Mental_octo 13 points  

You should get a book by Ajahn Bhram. If you can get it. If you cant, you can youtube him or download his podcasts. Truly a funny monk with insights.

one of the stories he told that i remembered fondly is the chicken and duck story.

A Husband and his wife were strolling around in the park. They were chatting and talking and laughing and having an overall good time. then they heard a "quack!"

the wife said " oooh! thats a chicken!" the husband said " No. how could that be a chicken. It must be a duck."

but the wife insisted "it was definitely a chicken!". To which the man was starting to get frustrated. He said " Woman, that is a duck. Only a duck goes quack."

"No! it is a chicken. why don't you believe me?" the wife said, her tears starting to roll down.

The man was about to lose it, because she was wrong and so adamant about it that he almost cursed and swore, when he realised, it didnt matter whether it was a duck or a chicken. They were perfectly fine before they heard the quack. Why did they let a quack ruin the merry time they had? Should an unknown quack in the middle of the park break them? who knows, it might be a genetically engineered chicken to sound like a duck for all he cares. So he wizened up and agreed. "Yes, it's a duck. I am sorry for berating you, love. Let's enjoy our walk together." 

[–]Mental_octo 11 points  

A monk seeking peace and enlightenment was meditating at a small far away deserted island. He vowed not to be angry nor be sad, nor be happy and truly be at oneself and he vowed never to leave the island and just be content with oneself. He picked a spot, sat down near a tree and meditated and was still and calm.

"Ahh....enlightened." He declared one morning after many many years of silently meditating. he was reinvigorated and fresh and was at one with the island, the surroundings and himself.

Then he wrote and sent a letter to his previous abbott, thanking him for teaching him, and that he vowed to stay at the island, and that nothing could make him leave. he was truly enlightened and not burdened by this world.

To his surprise, his reclusive abbott too sent a reply letter. He eagerly opened it up and to his dismay, he saw his own letter with red splashes of ink around it. "Fart! Bullshit! Really?" wrote his old abbott, beside his own eloquent thanks. Oh wow, he got mad, and immediately sailed back to his abbott, to demand an explanation.

When they met, He started ripping the old abbott a new one, to which the old abbott said calmly:"You said you were enlightened, you said you were detached of this world and that you would not leave the island, but yet, just mere words can make you so angry. Tell me, are you truly enlightened?"

[–]michael_dorfmanacademic 6 points  

That rendition of the story misses much of the joke.

The poem he wrote to the previous abbot said that the Eight Winds (the 8 worldly concerns) could no longer move him.

The poem in reply was "Fart" (which also means "nonsense")

The old abbot's comment at the end was "Didn't you say that the eight winds cannot move you? How come you are sent across the river with just a fart?"

[–]crankenfurterphilosophical enthusiast 7 points  

"The Tiger and the Strawberry" One day while walking through the wilderness a man stumbled upon a vicious tiger. He ran but soon came to the edge of a high cliff. Desperate to save himself, he climbed down a vine and dangled over the fatal precipice.

As he hung there, two mice appeared from a hole in the cliff and began gnawing on the vine.

Suddenly, he noticed on the vine a plump wild strawberry. He plucked it and popped it in his mouth. It was incredibly delicious!

<edited to edit story>

[–]Alomikron 5 points  

A metaphor for losing young ones . . .

After a storm, you can see that young green leaves have fallen with the old brown leaves .

[–]crankenfurterphilosophical enthusiast 5 points  

Yamaoka Tesshu, as a young student of Zen, visited one master after another. He called upon Dokuon of Shokoku.

Desiring to show his attainment, he said: “The mind, Buddha, and sentient beings, after all, do not exist. The true nature of phenomena is emptiness. There is no realization, no delusion, no sage, no mediocrity. There is no giving and nothing to be received.”

Dokuon, who was smoking quietly, said nothing. Suddenly he whacked Yamaoka with his bamboo pipe. This made the youth quite angry.

“If nothing exists,” inquired Dokuon, “where did this anger come from?”

[–]michael_dorfmanacademic 1 point  

Great story, bad translation. Tesshu didn't say that nothing exists; he said that everything is empty. Dokuon's reply was more like "Emptiness sure is quick to anger."

[–][deleted] 6 points  

Dalai Lama enters a pizza shop and says: "Make me one with everything."

Recently posted in Reddit, I'm still laughing.

[–]crankenfurterphilosophical enthusiast 3 points  

http://youtu.be/HXPZgd0ZDu4

[–][deleted] 1 point  

yeah, fail. :/

[–][deleted] 3 points  

(And if anyone is going to say that it's not a story but a joke, I reply that you should meditate on it a little bit more...)

[–]marruda2 2 points  

When it comes time to pay he hands the cashier a $50 bill. The cashier takes the bill, puts it in the till, and closes the drawer. The Dalai Lama asks, "What about my change?" To which the cashier responds, "Change must come from within."

[–]zensunni66nichiren 3 points  

If you like good, meaningful stories, the Lotus Sutra needs to be on your short list. I recommend "Stories of the Lotus" sutra by Dr. Gene Reeves; it's a GREAT book.

[–][deleted] 3 points  

http://users.rider.edu/~suler/zenstory/zenstory.html

I posted this in zen. Apparently it didn't make to front page. There are good stories there.

[–]Tigers_Go_Rawr 2 points  

This is probably my favourite:

The Buddha once asked a student, “If a person is struck by an arrow, is it painful?”

The student replied, “It is.”

The Buddha then asked, “If the person is struck by a second arrow, is that even more painful?”

The student replied again, “It is.”

The Buddha then explained, “In life, we cannot always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. The second arrow is optional."

[–]ohoona 2 points  

One day Enkan called to his attendant: “Bring me the rhinoceros fan.”

The attendant said: “The fan is broken.”

Enkan said: “If the fan is broken, then bring me the rhinoceros.”

The attendant made no reply.

Shifuku quickly drew a circle and wrote the word rhinoceros in it.

[–]crankenfurterphilosophical enthusiast 2 points  

"The old Roshi lies dying. His monks are all gathered around his deathbed, and the senior monk leans over and asks the master for any final words of wisdom for his monks. The old master says, "Tell them Truth is like a river." The senior monk relays this message on to the other monks. The youngest monk in the group is confused, and asks, "What does he mean that Truth is like a river?" The senior monk relays this question to the master, and the master replies, "O.k., Truth is not like a river."

[–]chicostickzen 2 points  

A little late to the party but the one that sticks out to me is from The Buddha in Your Mirror.

While walking in Deer Park in Benares, India, the Buddha came across a deer lying on the ground. A hunter's arrow had pierced its side. As the deer slowly died, two Brahmans, or holy men, stood over the body arguing over the exact time life leaves the body. Seeing the Buddha and wishing to solve this debate, they asked his opinion. Ignoring them, the Buddha immediately approached the deer and drew out the arrow, saving the animal's life.

Reminds me that Buddhism doesn't mean we don't interact/interfere with the world.

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